


In Which

by RainbowDynasty



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Friendship, Humor, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, literally just misadventures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5173925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowDynasty/pseuds/RainbowDynasty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles involving Levi's adventures putting up with Hanji, Eren, and everyone else who seem to exist to make his life as frustrating as possible. All set in the same universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Losers Play Monopoly

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic was orignally posted on fanfiction.net but I decided to migrate it over here after doing some edits and reworking it a little bit. It's pretty light-hearted, so don't worry, no heart cramps. Can't say how often I'll update this, but you're more than welcome to shoot me a prompt on tumblr. Just tell me it's for this fic and I'll grind out a chapter for you.
> 
> tumblr: rainbowdynasty

"Okay, Levi. How about this. I'll trade you Baltic and Oriental for Pacific. Plus $100."

"That's the worst deal I've ever heard. And last turn Hanji tried to buy Pennsylvania from me with $75 and no rent on a space of my choosing."

"Hey! That was not a bad deal, you were just too stupid to accept!" Hanji defended, leaning across the board to flick me in the nose.

I can no longer remember which of the two idiots before me had suggested that we play Monopoly, but nevertheless we were sat on the floor around my coffee table an hour into a game. It seemed like Hanji would be out soon. She was down to $75 with only Vermont and Short Line Railroad to her name, and house rules stated no mortgaging of properties. Eren was doing better, though not by much. I, however, owned about half the board and held all the orange spaces.

"No deal, Eren. Unless you're willing to give me Atlantic, there's not a chance in hell you're getting Pacific," I told him, crossing my arms and resuming the process of organizing my money.

Eren huffed, but picked up the dice. "Fine, be that way. But you'll crack. I have a plan," he said rather coolly, shaking the dice and tossing them onto the board. He rolled a seven, and moved to Tennessee. "Shit," he hissed.

"That'll be $550, thank you very much."

Eren groaned, pulling out his one $500 bill and a fifty. I held out my hand and he placed it in my palm. "No fair, you only have that monopoly because you tricked me into giving you New York," he moaned, flopping backwards and stretching out on the carpet.

“You should have been paying more attention,” I muttered as I reached across and grabbed the dice. But before taking my turn, I turned to Hanji. "I want to make you a deal, shitty glasses."

Hanji, who had been laughing at Eren, turned to me and smiled. "Just the words I've been waiting to hear, Levi." She pressed her hands together and surveyed her properties quickly before looking up at me and nodding.

"You look like you're moving into a tight spot, hm?"

She glanced at the board and terror flashed in her eyes. She was sat on Vermont, about to head into the snake pit of rent and houses until she reached Illinois.

"Here's what I propose: I will give you completely free rent on all of my spaces, if when you finally go bankrupt, you agree to give me all of your properties. As a token of gratitude, I will also give you an extra $50 every time you pass go," I said. Eren bolted up and stared at me in disgust.

"You can't -- no, you can't just give her an extra fifty for passing go. That's stealing from the bank!" Eren protested. He was on the verge of yelling, I could tell. He was practically shaking with frustration.

Unlike him, I was composed. "I wasn't going to steal from the bank," I said, holding up my rather large stack of fifties. Eren looked like he wanted to continue but couldn't find an argument, whereas Hanji was looking positively delighted.

"You're speaking my language, baby! Deal!" she said, grinning wide.

I rolled the dice. I really needed anything but a four. If I hit a four, then I'd land on Park Place. Eren had managed to coerce Hanji out of Boardwalk, and he had scraped up enough to buy a hotel on each. Rich as I was, I wasn't too concerned, but it would be a significant dent in my money that I wasn't looking forward to.

Of course, I rolled a four. Eren let out a loud hoot, and begrudgingly I forked over $1500 in rent. He stuck out his tongue at me and I considered grabbing it and yanking.

It was Hanji's turn, now, and she rolled a seven. She moved her game piece to the property, and her face fell. She'd landed on one of Eren’s three railroads. It would cost her $100 and she would go bankrupt.

Eren shot up and started dancing around the living room. Hanji looked at me, a hard expression on her face, and handed me her two properties. "Sorry I couldn't make good on our deal," I said solemnly.

She nodded once, holding eye contact. "Me too. But this just means you have to win."

Hanji went to sit on the couch while I arranged the new properties with my existing ones. "Oi, brat. It's your turn. Stop stomping and come and roll the dice."

Eren, to his credit, complied. He ended up rolling onto one of his spaces, and his turn ended there.

I picked up the dice, confident in my next roll, and--

Snake eyes.

It took all three of us about five seconds to process this turn of events. I realized it first, slamming my head on the table and knocking over the stack of Chance cards. Hanji figured it out next, groaning something about failing her.

I looked up and watched Eren. He was the last to understand, his eyes darting between Boardwalk and my pile of money that was nowhere near $2000 after landing on Park Place the previous turn. His eyes widened, and I half expected him to resume his dancing, but he surprised me by folding his hands on the table.

"I'll make you a deal, Levi."

"Your deals are the worst."

"Do you wanna go bankrupt?"

"…No."

Eren grinned so wide I thought his cheeks might tear. "Excellent. So, we both know you're in a little predicament. I'll give you two options. Option one is that you give me all your properties, with the exception of Pacific, because you love it so much."

"I'd be bankrupt in three turns!" I argued, but he held up a hand, silencing me.

"Your other option is a little different. Your other option is to SUCK MY DICK! I WON YOU FUCKER!" he yelled, jumping into the air and making some rather obscene motions towards his crotch.

Frustrated, I picked up all my money and shoved it at him. It was meant to be an angry gesture, but Eren just picked up the money and began shouting "Make it rain!"  
"Okay, I'm done,” I said, standing and throwing my hands up in defeat. “Eren, since you won, it's only fair that you clean up the board. Hanji and I are going to pick a movie," I said, plopping onto the couch next to Hanji. I picked up the remote and started sifting through Pay-per-Views. I didn't know which one we would end up watching (and I honestly didn't care), but I did know one thing for sure.

I was never, ever playing Monopoly with Eren ever again.


	2. In Which Idiots Wear The Same Costume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates? One day? Yeah that's just because I edited both of these in one go. I would absolutely not expect this type of updating often. That being said, still send me prompts in you would like this to update more often. I'll be more inclined to work on it if people are interested in it.
> 
> tumblr: rainbowdynasty

"I cannot believe you. I told you last week that I was going as Indiana Jones." "And I'm telling you, no you didn't." Here I was, Indiana Jones, staring at Eren, who was also dressed as Indiana Jones. And here we both were, stood smack in the middle of a Halloween party.

"Relax. It's a misunderstanding. No one's gonna care, anyways," Mikasa said from over Eren's shoulder. She was dressed as Black Widow, though she'd refused to wear a wig. I immediately disregarded her words, however. She couldn't understand. No one else was dressed as Black Widow.

"Mikasa's right, Levi. It's not a big deal," Petra said from behind me. I didn't turn to meet her eyes. I already knew she was giving me that 'mom' stare she was so good at. Out of my friends, she was the responsible one. Out of Eren's friends, it was Mikasa. I was outnumbered on this one.

Eren bent his knees and let his arms hang slack, his eyes rolling. "I'm sorry, Levi, it was an honest mistake, I swear! I really, truly, and honestly didn't know you were dressing up as Indie."

I grumbled, turning heel and heading to the kitchen. There was vodka somewhere at this party and I intended to find it. Petra grabbed my sleeve as I passed her, looking surprisingly menacing in her Tinkerbell costume. "Hey. Be nice. And don’t' drink too much. If you throw up in my car, then you're paying to have it cleaned," she said. I'd never seen her so serious, or maybe I had and the liquor was finally catching up to me. I had been drinking pretty steadily since I arrived two hours prior. I nodded and gently removed myself from her grasp.

In the kitchen, I realized I might have more trouble reaching the vodka than I'd anticipated. I was stood in the doorway, and the vodka was perched on the counter. In the space between were Connie and Sasha, dressed as Peeta and Katniss respectively, dancing in the middle of the floor. That in itself wouldn't have been an issue if not for the crowd of people surrounding them.

Later I would blame the alcohol for the stupid thing I did next: I decided to climb on the counters to get around them. No one noticed until I was halfway there, and they probably would have remained entranced with the dancing if I hadn't misplaced my foot and slipped off the edge of the counter. I crashed into someone, knocking both of us to the floor.

The room went surprisingly silent for a college party. "Uh... Levi?" I heard Sasha ask. I didn't want to look up at her. My pride was taking a beating tonight.

"Yes?" I replied, still laying on top of the person whom I had theoretically crushed.

"What're you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looked like you were playing ninja on the counter and you fell," Connie interjected.

Finally, I looked up at the two, anger rolling off me in waves. I was frustrated and my pride was wounded and damn it, I was going to take some of it out on them. "I was getting the fucking vodka, brats," I spat, standing up, much to the relief of the kid under me.

I walked over to the counter and snatched an almost full bottle. I stormed back past them, Connie reaching to pat me on the head. I swatted his hand away and began searching for a secluded spot to get thoroughly shitfaced.

After a few minutes, I found an unoccupied armchair in a dark room that could have been a sitting room, or maybe an office. I wasn't entirely sure, and I entirely did not care. I opened the bottle and took a swig. I couldn't tell you how long I sat alone in that room drinking, but I can tell you that by the time Hanji showed up looking for me I was nearly 2/3 done with it.

"Rough night, buddy?" she asked, kneeling down beside the chair. She looked at me sympathetically.

"Eren stole my costume."

She nodded, pursing her lips slightly."I know, I heard. It's not fair, is it?"

I responded only by meeting her gaze as I took my next swig.

Hanji tutted, snatching the bottle from my hands, asking how much of it I'd drank. I started to protest, but Hanji didn't care. She walked out of the room and left me sitting there alone with no booze to occupy me for a while, before returning with four bottles of water. "Here's what we're gonna do, okay? For every question you answer wrong, you're gonna drink half a bottle of water. No ifs, ands, or buts. Petra's orders. She doesn't want you sick in the backseat and I have to sit with you, so I'm on the same page."

So, Hanji began quizzing me on trivial shit. She asked me what Petra was dressed as tonight. I thought about it for a minute before I said princess. Down went half a water bottle.

It went on like that for a while, and I was getting more questions right than wrong, to my credit. Eventually, though, Hanji just started asking questions that I couldn't know the answers to; types of transport tissue in plants, what polypeptide was, to name every single part in a cow's digestive tract. Biology shit that I wasn't learning in my history major but that she knew inside out for her med school classes. Soon all four bottles were gone.

"Okay, time to go home, I think. Where's Petra and Erwin?" Hanji mumbled, mostly to herself. I was still too drunk to care, or even vaguely have an answer.

We made our way to the living room. "Wait here. I'm gonna find them and we'll come collect you," Hanji said before leaving to make a round of the house.

I would have waited, sure. That wasn't hard, even drunk. But the problem with being drunk for me was that I was really susceptible to mood swings. And there, in the middle of the room, was Eren, chatting with someone I didn't know. "Hey! Jaeger! Fuck you, man!" I yelled, heading towards him. He looked at me in surprise, but he was even more surprised when my fist connected with his chin.

It fucking hurt. Punching people hurts. But in the moment, I didn't care. I could not believe he had worn the same costume as me. "Hey, what the fuck, Levi!" Eren yelled, holding a hand to his chin. I tried to tackle him, but I missed and went headfirst into the coffee table. I remember hearing someone yell something to the effect of "Holy shit!" before I passed out.

\----

I woke up in the hospital. My head was pounding and my knuckles were throbbing in the same rhythm. I groaned and opened my eyes slowly. The light was blinding, but when I adjusted, I saw two people standing over me.

The first person was Eren. He looked concerned, despite the large bruise on his jawline. I wondered what he'd done to get someone to punch his sorry ass.

The second person was Petra. She, on the other hand, looked somewhere between concerned and livid. Her arms were crossed, and... something was different.

"Did you dye your hair?" I asked her, reaching up and flicking one the blonde locks. It felt weird, and I realized it was a wig. I took a look at her clothing and noticed she was dressed as Tinkerbell. That was strange. Was I on a drug trip? Or... no. That's right, it was Halloween. I looked at Eren again, curious to see what he was dressed as. The hat, the whip at his side, it was obvious that he was Indiana Jones. I almost laughed, because I had wanted to be--

I remembered all at once why Eren had gotten himself punched and who had done the damage.

The pain in my hand made a lot more sense, but I was still in the dark as to why my head hurt.

"Before you say anything, I know that I punched him, and I know you're probably angry at me for punching him, or getting myself in the hospital, but I really want to know why my head hurts first," I said to Petra groggily, rubbing at my temples.

Eren cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him. "You tried to tackle me and you smacked your head on the coffee table. Shattered the glass. We called 911. You have a mild concussion, but they said you'll be fine," Eren explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

Petra made a little indignant noise. "I told you to take it easy with the alcohol. That was my one rule, and you broke it. You broke it, and you punched someone," she huffed, glaring daggers at me. "You'd better apologize."

I considered telling her to fuck off, but I knew that would only end badly for me. I knew I probably should apologize, anyways. That bruise looked like it would last a few days. "Sorry for punching you, Jaeger. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight." I looked back at Petra for approval.

Frowning still, she nodded, accepting it as a valid apology. Eren began to accept it as well, but I cut him off. "It really was your fault, though. I told you I was going as Indiana Jones."

Petra yelled at me so loudly that the nurses had to escort her out of the room.


End file.
